The Case of the Purloined Paper

By Jacquie Bokow

Our Washington Post has been stolen several times. This might not be so bad, except that we only get the Sunday issue. I was told by my distributor it has happened to others here, too.

I wondered how anyone walking or jogging could carry it home undetected. Surely it would be noticed, conspicuous even!

Then one day I spotted a woman walking her dogs, hurrying around the next block. I wondered why I looked back. That second glance revealed the answer to my quandary: her “poop bag” was suspiciously cylindrical in shape.

To the thief, I say: if you can afford to keep dogs, you can certainly afford a dollar and a half for a Sunday Post. Have a little consideration for your neighbors and your neighborhood! We want to look out for each other, not steal from each other. Actions like yours could be changing our neighborhood into a place few of us will like or feel safe in.

To other dog owners, I say: I know most of you are responsible pet owners, but a few “bad apples” — who don’t pick up after their pets, don’t leash their dogs on the trail, or let their cats out at night — make the rest of you look bad. This newspaper thief is no exception. You need to police yourselves. Admonish slackers to be responsible.

If you see a dog owner carrying a newspaper, follow her (or him) and give me her/his address. If I get several written confirmations of the same individual, I’ll publish the address. ■